Love & Gelato (2022) Review | Genuinely, why

Happy Sunday, Sprinkles! Except it’s Monday. So, sorry ‘bout that. It can be Sunday in spirit. 

So I watched the movie Love & Gelato…I have thoughts. A lot of this is purely my running commentary as I watched the film. I will provide some form of actual review at the end but I’m very biased—take my opinion with a grain of salt. Fair warning there will be spoilers if you don’t want spoilers. Enjoy! Or don’t. You have free will I suppose. 

So we started off strong with a funeral scene that definitely didn’t happen in the book. Oh, I should mention, almost all of this is me comparing it to the book. I’ve read the Love & Gelato book, I like it a lot—I would recommend, it’s romance/mystery type genre, good stuff. Anyhow, that scene was very much not in the book and this post might go on for centuries if I delve into everything so we are just going to take a deep breath and move on. There is still hope (not much hope, I watched the trailer for this, I am lacking in optimism). Oh, although, movie-Lina does say her mom said no one was to cry at her funeral then all the extras were crying…did no one tell them?

Not relevant, but not many things are so: I cannot tell whether Lina’s actor is very tall or Addie’s actor is very short. 

The text on the screen says it’s based on the novel. Yeah, but is it though?

Quote from movie Lina: “my grandparents already passed away”

Meanwhile Lina’s grandmother in the book: say what

So Lina goes to Italy, because her mum, or I should say mom, Hadley, passed. In the book she is sent to live with Howard Mercer but ahahahaha apparently the writers of this movie didn’t want to do that so she’s going on her and her mom’s planned graduation trip to Italy by herself because her mother wanted her to. Genuinely, what is so hard about having her mom’s dying wish be for her to go and live with Howard. 

Right, so she’s staying with Francesca. In the book only mentioned in the journal and in present day one singular short phone call Francesca. Cool. Yep. Sure. I see no problem with THAT. 

Omg what if the journal doesn’t exist. Send help besties. 

Oh righto so Lina can speak Italian a bit apparently. She can roll her Rs. She did an AP class. NO. Nonononoonon. There is literally a whole thing in the book about Lina CANNOT SPEAK ITALIAN and CANNOT roll her Rs. 

So she gets told her appearance is nothing a little lipstick and some makeup can’t fix Francesca “hopes”. And then she gets told to lose those glasses. OH GREAT IT’S A CLICHÉ. 

Right so Howard is Francesca’s freaking cousin now. And he’s Irish. And they changed his last name from Mercer to Riley. WHAT THE HELL. Genuinely why. At this point he’s not even Howard. I feel ‘genuinely why’ is going to be a recurring refrain in this commentary. 

FRANCESCA TOOK LINA’S GLASSES OFF. HOW IS SHE MEANT TO SEE? I THOUGHT WE WERE PAST THIS. When was this movie made? I didn’t think it was that old…TWENTY TWENTY TWO. LORD. 

We’ve apparently just abandoned the source material now because who on Earth is Alessandro. Additionally, why is she in Rome not Florence. It’s literally not that hard. Finally a comment on the actual movie rather than the atrocities of this being an adaptation: it really feels like Lina is being awkward on purpose when Alessandro leaves, this is not natural awkwardness. That could be the writers (I am pretty pissed at them) or it could be the actress. Perhaps a fun combo. 

If she doesn’t live at the freaking cemetery —

She doesn’t live at the cemetery.

I am only fifteen minutes into this movie. 

Send help. 

So remember how I was wondering if they’d include the journal? So they call it a diary not a journal. That is literally the smallest thing to get right. Genuinely why. Like I’m actually questioning their motives at this point. Quote from the journal, oh sorry, DIARY 

“There are strange sirens in the air  and squawking seagulls everywhere”

Okay Sprinkles, I know I said that I’m not Dr Seuss but maybe Hadley is.

Alessandro is so confusing to me because he feels like he should be Thomas but he’s not BUT I GUESS THIS MOVIE FEELS LIKE IT SHOULD RESEMBLE THE BOOK BUT IT DOESN’T. I digress. Okay apparently he’s called Ale (Alessandro that is). 

Ale invited her to a thing (opera?) and she said I don’t know and then he said he’d pick her up at 9 and THEN SHE. SAID. NO. BUT HE DOESN’T GO LIKE OH NEVER MIND. RESPECT HER BOUNDARIES MAN. I have taken a dislike to Ale purely because why is he in this movie. 

Has anyone considered that the screenwriters read the blurb of the book and the title and then just winged it? I actually think this is really plausible. Also another thought: Lina is meant to have curly hair. She doesn’t. I mean in any other situation that’d be fine I guess but why can they not get anything right. 

Wait, y’all, is Francesca her godmother? Also does Sonia…exist? Ever? Note from future Josie: no, she doesn’t. 

For this next bit I’m just going to attach the notes I wrote as I was watching because I think they are too pure to edit:

‘LINA

STOP

LYING

Oh wait never mind she told the truth

All good

I mean not ALL good but you know what I mean

If only this could go faster

Opera

Yeah totally in the books

Sure

WHAT IF HADLEY ISN’T A PHOTOGRAPHER

Oh god

We’ll see

Lina is actually an idiot in this

CAN HE JUST LISTEN TO HER

What a dick

Are they going to kiss?

They didn’t 

Why is Lina just crashing out at Ren

So unnecessary’

Back to our regularly scheduled programming. Hold up Professor Riley? Which is Howard. So Howard is a culinary school teacher. Because they’ve made Lorenzo a chef for some goddam reason. So you know…I have no problems with that.

I have so many problems with that.

OH MY GOD A CAT. 

Cat’s gone.

There was just a cat on the ground behind Lorenzo and Lina’s back for about ten seconds. It served no purpose. The best part of the movie so far actually. Although I do wonder why the people who produced this show chose to work with animals, specifically a cat, for the cat to play the role of irrelevant set decor the characters acknowledge in no way whatsoever. 

Quote from Lina: “Do you know how many honours classes I took? Enough to not look good in a bathing suit.”

Bitch, what are you implying? 

So Hadley says in her diary she ‘kind of signed up for this photography class’ (not a direct quote but that was the gist) AS THOUGH IN THE BOOK THAT WASN’T THE WHOLE FREAKING POINT OF HER GOING TO FLORENCE. At least they included photography and Lina got her camera. Hold up. Lina is only just now finding out her mother was a photographer (Side note from editing-Josie: I did accidentally write “her mother was a photography” which I think should be preserved in some form. Hadley simply embodies the concept of photography.). So Hadley stopped photography. GUYS THAT WAS HADLEY’S MAIN THING. THAT WAS HER CAREER. YOU CAN’T STRIP THE FICTIONAL WOMAN OF HER CAREER AND PASSION. 

So I kind of lost interest and zoned out for a moment but anyway, so Ale is saying they can be exclusive. OH and they are in a lake. Feels relevant. And then Lina just said she has been with NO guys. Ever. AND THEN SHE LAUNCHES HERSELF AT HIM (to kiss). Hmm. 

She left the house in her pyjamas. No. Just no. So she’s telling Ale off (I keep going to call him Thomas) and she finishes by saying “With zero respect for the x chromosome” I’m sorry…what? I think what they are going for is that she’s smart and shit and she’s saying he has no respect for women but science edition but…does she (or the writers) realise that men have an X chromosome too?

Behaviour-and-speech-wise Lina seems a lot younger than she is meant to be. That cottage is adorable though. So new girl, Lorenzo’s girlfriend? Seemingly. Immediate bitch. Another lovely lovely cliché. Jealous girlfriend, absolute bitch, dyed hair, leather jacket. Doesn’t even have a reason to be jealous. I mean in the books Mimi had a REASON. Also is this Mimi? Mimi is meant to be a Swedish supermodel in looks. This girly isn’t. She’s cute! She has a look. Not a Swedish supermodel look. Okay so Girlfriend is called Giorgia not Mimi. All good. 

Have we just abandoned that Lorenzo is meant to be half American? I feel we’ve abandoned the book. Maybe I should stop commenting on it. I’m not going to. 

Oh look, Lina is making another dramatic speech in front of an audience. Don’t worry Sprinkles, we are halfway through the movie. WE ARE GETTING THERE. Lina’s outfit is cute though. Apart from the fact that Fran shouldn’t be in the movie this much, I like her character. See? I can find positives. 

I’m sorry…they called her father…Matteo Fossi instead of Matteo Rossi. I’m actually starting to wonder at this point if they didn’t get the rights to make the movie adaption so they had to change it enough so they didn’t get sued. MATTEO. FOSSI. ONE LETTER. WHY WHY WHY. 

There’s a secret ingredient in the gelato. I would bet money it’s going to be love. You know what’s good in cooking? Salt, fat, acid, heat. Notice how Samin Nosrat didn’t write a book called Salt, fat, love, acid, heat? Yeah I wonder why. 

Right so Lina goes to Matteo FOSSI’s gallery, says she’s his daughter (that’s gonna go well, oh and she says this to the assistant by the way not him), waits for him, the assistant says he’s out, she storms into his office, no conversation, no fight, she just gives him a look and storms off, oh and she steals the photograph by her mom. I know her mom took the photograph but that’s still in his gallery, that’s still theft. She literally said at the beginning of the movie she didn’t want to go to Italian prison. Why is she committing crimes? 

Oh look, Lorenzo’s back. I wonder if they'll kiss. THEY KISSED. I know I’ve been complaining about the movie the whole time but I’m a sucker for kissing. Let me enjoy this. Never mind, it's over now. Okay back to being pissed:

Ahem

Fuck this. 

I WAS JOKING BEFORE BUT ACTUALLY WHAT THE FUDGE IS THIS. SO THEY KISS RIGHT? CUTE SHIT. THEY BOTH SMILE AND STUFF AND THEN LATER—LATER—LINA SAYS IT WAS A MISTAKE. WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL. I’M GENUINELY PISSED NOW. In the book Lina says it was a mistake or something similar

IN

THE

MOMENT

Because Lorenzo

PUSHED

HER

OFF

HIM. 

That’s FAIR. 

You know this movie is kind of like someone read the book and then had a dream about it where it has some of the right names and shit but it’s just a bit entirely wrong. 

If she chooses Ale—because they’ve made it a love triangle apparently—I’m going to scream. They wouldn’t do that right? They’ve got it all wrong but even in a cliche, she’d choose Lorenzo.

So Ale says to Lina (this quote may not be exactly word for wordy sorryyyy)

“We are so screwed up, we are perfect together!”

And HE IS SO PLEASED WITH HIMSELF. That's actually so funny. Then Lina replies “That’s your sales pitch!?”

I like it. You go girl. 

IS SHE CHOOSING NEITHER OF THEM? Wot. Have we considered she could choose herself while also choosing Lorenzo because Lorenzo helps her be herself? IT IS A CLICHE LOVE MOVIE AND SHE CHOOSES NO BOYFRIEND. The Lorenzo/Lina romance is all this movie had going for it for me (and the cat). OH WAIT. ONE YEAR LATER. LORENZO IS BACK. KISS KISS KISS KISS. He invited her for dinner at Nonna’s. No kiss. Boo.

Oh it’s the secret ingredient y’all. In the gelato. She figured it out, she didn’t say what it is, I’m still pretty sure it’s meant to be love. 

THEY DIDN’T KISS. THE MOVIE IS OVER. WHAT IS THIS MADNESS. I mean…I am glad it’s over. 

So overall, while this has been mostly running commentary it's quick summary review time.

If you have read the Love & Gelato book: this is a really shit adaptation and they changed basically everything. I wouldn’t recommend it.  

If you haven’t read the book: It’s quite a clichéd Italian romance movie but if you like that kind of thing (which is so fair, I probably would have liked this movie more if I didn’t know the book) I think the quality was quite good overall. 

It’s a bit like brownie and pickles, some people love it (apparently) and some people hate it. 

Hope you enjoyed experiencing my descent into insanity watching this movie. Happy not-Sunday!

Josie xx